The new movie Black Snake Moan lays the groundwork for a very important (and useful) meme. Let's all try to nurture it, because the world needs it.

The Oscars are just around the corner. I know this because there are advertisements for the broadcast on every corner in San Francisco. The ad strategy consists entirely of large famous movie quotes (memes, if you prefer that nomenclature), like "I coulda been a contender!" or "May the Force be with you." It has a done a great job of reminding me how movies were so much better decades ago (On the Waterfront was '59, and Star Wars: A New Hope was '77).

Black Snake Moan will probably not be nominated for anything shiny anytime soon. Nonetheless, while I have not seen any more than the trailer, I'm already excited. Though the title itself (from an old blues song) is vastly more ambiguous that Samuel L. Jackson's last flick, the plot seems to be relatively easy to summarize:

1. There exists a skanky ho.
2. Skanky ho gets chained up until she learns to be less skanky.
3. Profit.

The brilliance of this movie is not in its compelling narrative, multi-dimensional characters, or rich cinematography (granted I have not seen the movie and these may well be brilliant as well). No, it's all about social relevance—relevance to the extreme of necessity. The "Black Snake Moan" treatment is precisely what America needs. Clearly, our celebrities are out of control. Can you honestly say that Britney would not benefit from some serious de-skankification? She needs chains... strong chains.

All that's left is to come up with a good term for the process of getting chained up until you're less skanky. My first thought was perhaps, "Blacksnaked." As in, "I hear you're Blacksnaking Nicole Richie this weekend, can I watch?" I then briefly toyed with "Chain-trained." As in, "Yes, she's pretty, but is she chain-trained?" But I eventually settled on "Moaned." As in, "Damn girl, you needs get Moaned in a powerful way." Until the movie actually comes out and Mr. Jackson bellows that perfect phrase to rival, "May the Force be with you.", let's leave it at that.

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